Teen Text Codes Parents Should Know

The teen text codes parents should actually know fall into six groups: a stranger fishing for photos or personal details (WYLL, ASL sent on its own, LMIRL), sextortion, self-harm (KMS, KYS, unalive), bullying, sexual slang (DTF, NP4NP, sneaky link), and drug codes (plug, blues, certain emoji), plus the "parent is watching" warnings (9, CD9, POS, PIR). Almost everything else your teen types, from wyd to ngl to iykyk, is ordinary shorthand. Even a scary code rarely means much alone: who sent it, what came next and what else is changing in your child's life tell you far more. Below are the codes in each group, how worried to be, what to say, a printable cheat sheet and help lines.

The codes that matter, at a glance

Sorted by what to do, not by alphabet.

Most teen texting is not code

For years, viral lists have told parents that teens text in a secret language. In 2009 Fox News looked at one widely shared "Top 50" list and found that many of its acronyms were outdated or obscure, some apparently from adult chat rooms. A PC Magazine editor interviewed for the piece said a few, such as CD9 and POS, were real, but doubted teens used most of the others. The same is true of today's 150-entry lists: a few codes that matter, buried among dozens that mean "I agree" or "that's funny."

Here is the everyday layer, which needs no action at all:

A few common ones contain swearing: ts, pmo and bffr. They are crude, not dangerous. Treat them the way you would treat the same words said out loud.

Sounds alarming, usually isn't

These trip parents up most often.

• "tired asl." After a word, ASL means "as hell." Only "asl?" on its own, usually from someone new, asks for age, sex and location.
• "kms, I forgot my homework." Dictionary.com says KMS is most often a melodramatic overreaction to something minor, like oversleeping.
• "I'm cooked." Doomed, usually about a test or a missed deadline.
• "you're tweaking." You're overreacting. It started as drug slang in the 1980s, but most teens use it with no drug meaning.
• "I'm about to crash out." I'm about to lose my temper.
• "gas." Bark lists three meanings: marijuana, something great, or hyping a friend up. The rest of the message decides.

None of these is a reason to take a phone away. Patterns still matter: "cooked" about one exam is normal, but weeks of hopeless messages are telling you something.

Codes that signal a stranger is targeting your child

The codes in this group are not secret. They are blunt, and they are dangerous because of who sends them and when.

• WYLL: "What you look like?" Bark warns that strangers online often use it to ask for photos.
• ASL, sent alone: age, sex, location. It is a chat-room opener from the 1990s, and it asks a child for exactly the details a stranger should not have.
• LMIRL: "let's meet in real life." Parents magazine lists it among codes that may hide risky behavior.
• "add me on snap" or any push to another app: not a code, but a pattern. The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) lists moving the conversation to another platform, such as a private video chat or messaging app, as a common tactic.

NCMEC describes other tactics used by people who target children online: approaching a child after learning about their interests, friends, school or family; asking for nude images soon after following or friending them; "I'll show you if you show me"; pretending to be a modeling agency, or someone younger or of the opposite sex; and running several fake accounts at once.

Put together, the warning signs look like this:

1. Someone your child has never met is unusually interested and flattering, fast. Our page on love bombing describes the same move in adult relationships.
2. The questions turn to age, school, location or appearance.
3. They ask to switch apps, or to keep the chat secret.
4. A request for one photo becomes a request for more, or for different kinds.

Teens already have words for this: sus and red flag. Use them. "If someone online asks what you look like before they know your name, that's a red flag, and you can block them without a reason" sticks with a 12-year-old.

Sextortion: when "send pics" turns into a threat

NCMEC defines sextortion as blackmail in which a child is threatened, usually with the release of nude or sexual images, by someone demanding more images, sexual activity or money. It reports a sharp rise in financial sextortion, where the demand is money, and says teenage boys are the most common targets in recent cases. NCMEC adds that some blackmailers hack accounts to steal images, and others threaten to make fake sexual images with editing tools, so a child does not have to have sent anything to be targeted.

If it happens to your child, NCMEC's steps are:

1. The blackmailer is to blame. It is a crime, and your child is the victim. Say that out loud, early and more than once.
2. Get help before anyone pays. NCMEC says paying or cooperating rarely stops the blackmail.
3. Report the account using the app's own safety tools.
4. Block, but do not delete. Keep the profile and messages, because they help investigators.
5. Get the images taken down. NCMEC's free Take It Down service makes a digital fingerprint of an image taken before age 18 so that participating platforms can find and remove copies. The image stays on your device and is not uploaded, and you can use the service anonymously.
6. Report it to NCMEC's CyberTipline at report.cybertip.org or 1-800-843-5678 (1-800-THE-LOST), which answers 24 hours a day. You can also contact your local police or FBI field office.

In the UK, Childline and the Internet Watch Foundation run Report Remove, which lets anyone under 18 report a nude image or video of themselves so it can be removed. It is on childline.org.uk, and Childline counselors are on 0800 1111.

The most protective thing you can do is say this before anything happens: "If anyone ever threatens you with a picture, real or fake, come to me. You will not be in trouble. I will help you fix it." Blackmail works on shame and silence, and that one sentence takes both away.

Self-harm and suicide words

This is the group where a code can matter most, and where it is easiest to misread.

Words like unalive and sewerslide are what Dictionary.com calls algospeak: spellings and emoji people use so moderation software does not remove their posts. They are workarounds for filters more than a secret teen language.

How worried should you be? The Associated Press spoke to experts in 2023 who said not to overreact to "unalive." Young people generally know they are talking about suicide when they use it, and the fact that they are using the word can be a sign they are willing to talk. A therapist in the same article warned that never saying "suicide" plainly can build a culture of silence, so adults should be willing to use the real word.

Signs that it may be more than a joke:

• It is about themselves, not a dropped phone or a lost game.
• It comes with other changes: sleep, eating, grades, giving things away, pulling away from friends.
• It repeats, or the tone is flat rather than funny.
• A friend is worried enough to tell you, or your child shows you a friend's messages.

Ask directly. The 988 Lifeline's #BeThe1To campaign says asking an at-risk person whether they are suicidal does not increase suicidal thoughts, and that talking openly may lower them. "I saw 'kms' in your messages. Sometimes that's a joke and sometimes it isn't. Are you thinking about hurting yourself?" Then listen, without arguing with the feeling.

In the US, call or text 988, or chat at chat.988lifeline.org. It is free, confidential and open 24/7, and you can contact it for advice about someone else. Teens can also text HOME to 741741 to reach Crisis Text Line. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.

Bullying codes

The same short codes that are banter between friends can be cruelty in a group chat or a public comment section.

• KYS. Aimed at a child, it is harassment, even when the sender calls it a joke. Save it and report it.
• SYBAU and STFU. Rude ways of saying "shut up." Bark notes STFU can be cyberbullying. Parents magazine says it can be playful between friends but harmful when posted publicly.
• Big back. Bark describes it as a body-shaming term, often used to bully.
• Chopped. Ugly. Fine as self-mockery, cruel aimed at a classmate.
• Ratio. When the replies outnumber the likes on a post, a public pile-on.

For more put-downs that kids repeat without knowing how bad they are, see slang that's actually offensive.

What helps: take screenshots with dates and names, report the account on the app, and tell the school if classmates are involved. Ask your child what they want to happen before you act. Many kids hide bullying because they fear a parent will make it worse.

Sexual slang

These turn up in group chats, comments and DMs. Knowing them helps you understand what your child is seeing. It does not mean your child is doing any of it.

• DTF: a blunt way of saying someone is available for sex.
• Smash: casual sex, or wanting it with someone (Bark).
• Body count: how many sexual partners someone has had (Bark).
• FWB: friends with benefits.
• NP4NP: trading nude photos. Parents magazine flags it as a risky-behavior code.
• Sneaky link: a secret hookup or relationship. Verizon puts it among codes for hiding things from parents.
• Thirsty: desperate for attention, usually sexual (Bark).

Respond with curiosity, not shock. "What do people at school mean when they say that?" teaches you more than a lecture and keeps the door open for the talk you actually want, about pressure and consent. Our dating slang guide covers the milder vocabulary of teen and adult relationships.

Drug codes and emoji

• Plug: a drug dealer (Bark).
• Blues or M30s: counterfeit pills, usually blue and round and stamped "M" and "30," made to look like 30 mg oxycodone. Multnomah County health officials in Oregon warned that these pills contain fentanyl, that the amount varies from pill to pill, and that even experienced users often cannot tell them from real medicine.
• School bus and Hulk: Bark lists these as names for 2 mg benzodiazepine bars such as Xanax, yellow and green.
• Gas: marijuana, or just "great" (see above).

In 2021 the US Drug Enforcement Administration published an "Emoji Drug Code" chart for parents as part of its One Pill Can Kill campaign. FOX 11 in Los Angeles reported examples from it: a maple leaf as a general symbol for drugs, a school bus for Xanax and a blue heart for methamphetamine. The DEA itself cautions that emoji on their own should not be taken as evidence of drug use. They matter when they show up alongside changes in behavior, appearance or money. A blue heart from a grandparent is just a blue heart. For everyday emoji meanings, see emoji meanings for Gen Z.

Two practical steps protect a family even before any conversation. Tell your teen plainly that any pill not from a pharmacy should be treated as if it contains fentanyl. And keep naloxone (Narcan) at home. The FDA approved the nasal spray for sale without a prescription in March 2023. For help with a teen's substance use, SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 (1-800-662-HELP) is a free, confidential referral line for individuals and families, open 24 hours a day in English and Spanish.

"Parent nearby" codes

These come from the Verizon and Parents lists. They are among the few classic codes that have lasted, and none is dangerous by itself. Teenagers wanting privacy is normal and old. A "9" before a message about a crush means something very different from a "9" before a message about meeting an adult from a game.

Related habits on Bark's list are a finsta (a second, private Instagram account) and a trap phone (an old hand-me-down phone kids use to get around parental limits). If you find one, the useful question is not "how dare you" but "what did you feel you couldn't do on your main account?"

What to say: reply scripts

You do not need to speak the slang. You need a calm first sentence. Some to borrow:

You see "kms" or "unalive" in your child's messages. "I saw something in your messages and I'd rather ask than guess. Were you joking, or have you been feeling really low? Either answer is OK to tell me."

A stranger has sent your child "wyll" or "asl." "You did nothing wrong by getting that. People who ask what you look like before they know you are usually after pictures. Let's block them together and I'll show you how to do it next time."

Your child admits they sent an image and are being threatened. "Thank you for telling me. This is a crime against you, and we are going to handle it together. Don't pay and don't delete anything. We'll report it right now."

Your child is being told "kys" in a group chat. "That is not a joke and you don't have to laugh it off. Can I take screenshots? Then let's decide together whether we go to the school."

You find drug emoji or "plug" in a chat. "I saw something I didn't understand and it worried me. Can you tell me what it means? I'm asking because I want you safe, not because I want to punish you."

You find "9" or "POS" before a message. "I get wanting privacy. I'm not going to read everything. I just need to know you're not hiding something that could hurt you."

Printable cheat sheet

Stranger red flags: WYLL (what you look like), ASL on its own (age, sex, location), LMIRL (meet in real life), "add me on another app," "keep this between us."

Sextortion: threats to share a picture, real or fake, unless your child pays or sends more. Don't pay, don't delete, report. Take It Down: takeitdown.ncmec.org. CyberTipline: 1-800-843-5678.

Self-harm: KMS (kill myself), KYS (kill yourself), unalive, sewerslide, suey (suicide or suicidal), grippy sock vacation (psychiatric stay), menty b (breakdown). Ask directly. 988 by call or text.

Bullying: KYS, SYBAU, STFU, big back, chopped. Screenshot, report, tell the school.

Sexual: DTF, smash, body count, FWB, NP4NP, sneaky link, thirsty.

Drugs: plug (dealer), blues or M30s (fake pills, often fentanyl), school bus or Hulk (benzo bars), gas (weed or "great"). Maple leaf, school bus and blue heart emoji appear on the DEA's chart.

Parent nearby: 9 or CD9, 99, POS, PIR, PAW, PAH, AITR, KPC.

Harmless: wsg, wyd, hmu, lmk, ily, 143, ngl, tbh, fr, istg, ong, iykyk, atp, smh. Crude only: ts, pmo, bffr.

For the full A to Z of everyday shorthand, see texting abbreviations. If your child mostly chats inside games, the Roblox slang guide covers in-game words, and the Gen Alpha slang guide covers younger kids.

Where to get help

Wherever you live, also report the account inside the app, with screenshots.

Key takeaways

• Only a small set of codes signal real danger. Most teen texting is ordinary shorthand, and some of it is just crude.
• Context beats the dictionary. Who sent it, when and what came next matter more than the letters.
• WYLL or ASL from a stranger, a push to switch apps and a request to keep secrets are the classic grooming pattern.
• In sextortion, the child is the victim. Don't pay, don't delete, report, and use Take It Down.
• KMS is usually a joke. Ask anyway if it is about them. In the US, call or text 988.
• "Parent nearby" codes are about privacy. They matter only when what is being hidden is risky.

FAQ

What does 9 mean in texting?

"9" or "CD9" (code 9) warns the other person that a parent is nearby, so they should be careful what they send. "99" means the parent has gone. Both appear on Verizon's 2026 list for parents. On their own they show a wish for privacy, not danger.

What does POS mean from a teenager?

Usually "parent over shoulder," meaning someone is watching the screen. Adults more often know it as a rude insult, and both senses are in use, so read the message around it.

Is KMS always a sign of suicidal thoughts?

No. Dictionary.com says KMS is most often an exaggerated reaction to something minor. But it can be real, and you cannot always tell from text. If it is about your child's own life, or comes with other changes, ask them directly whether they are thinking about hurting themselves.

Should I read my teen's texts?

That depends on your child's age, your family's rules and whether you have a specific safety worry. Experts quoted by Parents magazine warn that spying and "gotcha" reactions can make kids more secretive. Many families do better with agreed rules, such as no photos or location shared with people known only online, plus a promise that kids will not be punished for reporting something scary.